Friday, February 26, 2010
I am so sick of not being pregnant. I'm so sick of feeling upset when I hear about other people being pregnant or having babies (people I don't know, if you're my friend then I am truly excited). I was actually annoyed today when I walked by a girl with a little baby in my complex. Why am I so cynical about this? She didn't do anything wrong. I hate it. I mad at myself for not wanting to try earlier. It took 8 months to get pregnant with Aubrey. I know that's not a long time but I only had 4 periods during that 8 months (I've always had a very irregular cycle) so I thought it would maybe take about 4 months to get pregnant again (Ever since I had Aubrey, I've had a normal period). I don't want to say how long it's been because it isn't that long but it's agony right now since I don't know how much longer it'll be (It's been 7 months). I sick of having pre-baby weight and trying to keep it on. I mad that I let other people make me feel like I'm too skinny to get pregnant and that's the reason why I'm not. I'm pissed that my period is late (at least 4 days) and the test this morning says I'm not pregnant. I am hoping that posting this will make me look like a fool because I am pregnant even though there's only less than a 1% chance of that. I also mad and confused that don't want to have 2 kids or 3 kids because it's just sounds like misery and yet I'm mad I'm not pregnant. Pregnancy hormones? I want to so bad blame it on this. I'm mad I have to keep buying tampons, even time thinking it'll be the last. I'm also mad because I have so much work to do, it's not even funny and yet I haven't been concentrate on it all day. I don't have time to waste time right now. I know there are far worse problems out there but I just needed to vent. Ellen's on right now so I'm hoping it'll cheer me up.
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3 comments:
Lauren my dear, I'm SO sorry! And I don't think you're too skinny to have a baby, did someone tell you that? You eat well so that's all that should matter. And you're been so patient since it's been seven months! Pregnancy is crazy, when you want it, you want it NOW and it will drive you crazy otherwise, so you GO crazy girl, you deserve to! I was talking to someone else about how it's taking a long time for them for their third and she's just so frustrated too. It just stinks because it's so out of your control. I'm so sorry Lauren! And don't worry, two isn't as bad, the older Aubrey gets, the easier everything is, even with a baby. I hope Ellen cheers you up and there are no worse problems in the world if you can't get pregnant when you want to. I'm there for you, sister! You're wonderful. And I'm sorry!
Oh Lauren. I wish you lived closer so you could come over and we could sit on the couch and talk with huge bowls of ice cream. I can't imagine how you are feeling and I'm sorry that I'm one of those people you hate right now, even though I know you don't hate me because we are friends and you said you're excited. Trying to get pregnant is such an emotionally taxing thing and it seems like it should be possible to get pregnant more than once a month. Then again, that would mean we'd have to have more than one period in a month and that would stink.
I know 2 girls in my ward that have both been trying for over a year (one has 2 kids already and the other already has 1) and they are both finally pregnant. I know it will happen for you because you are such a great mom but it sucks to want to be pregnant and not be. Keep hanging in there! We love you!
Ditto what Em and Sus said. I love you, Laur and that is just SO frustrating. SO.
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